do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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