No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
