So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
