sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
