tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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