Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
