Can Purell be used as lube?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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