your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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