My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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