i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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