and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
