This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize