I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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