I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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