it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
