just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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