if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize