There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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