Why are handjobs necessary in class?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
