I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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