i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you would pick up someone in the library
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
ttyl tear gas
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
