wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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