I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
