i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
