the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
