why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
