I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
