tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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