i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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