Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize