Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
