I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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