Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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