Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
