Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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