Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
someone owes me an orgasm
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
