if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
