how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
