I hate your face
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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