I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
