Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
