YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
