I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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