so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize