No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
