Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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