and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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