dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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