i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
