Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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