We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
