how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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