What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
