what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
