The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
