there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
