this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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