he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
