He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
