Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
