I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
