i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
