"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
