Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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