I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
